John 15:9

    I love you, just as the Father loves me, remain in my love

Lord, your first touch I have lost, the love you showered upon me, I have lost.

But you never gave up on me, you never let me go, you never let me out of your sight, you never let go of my hand.. You were always there waiting for me, your prodigal daughter to return. You constantly wished my return, and here I am Lord, the prodigal daughter has returned to her Abba’s house, her Yahweh’s house, her true Lover’s house.

My Lord, I cannot explain the loneliness, the lack of love, the emptiness I felt without you. I searched for companionship and love in the midst of humans, in the midst of worldly tangibles but nothing Lord, nothing filled this empty wine jar. It was barren without the new wine of Canna, without your precious blood.

But Lord you never forsake me, even in the midst of the darkest nights, when my sorrows and self-created darkness swallowed me, you never let me go, and today you have answered me, you have comforted me by your words..

“ I love you, like my Father loves me, remain in my love.”

Cinematic Tripping..

Some movies can set you thinking, some can take your breath away.. some can make you believe in magic, in destiny ..some can renew your faith in mankind ..in ourselves..

I like such movies, where you don’t need to think, rather the cinema itself takes you for a ride, takes you to another level ,another world, like dopamine, inducing your senses and taking complete control..

My soul tripping happened with Neelakasham Pachakadal Chuvanna Bhoomi, literally translated means The Blue Skies, The Green Sea and The Red Earth. So what fascinated me about the movie was not the clichéd love story, nor was it the brilliance of the slow moving script, but it was the journey, that Kasi-Suni road-trip, it paralyzed me completely: the Blue Skies over their heads, the Green Sea roaring by and the Red Earth under their wheels, it exuberated my senses.

Throughout that cinematic picturesque journey, the evolvement of the protagonist, his thoughts, his actions, his deeds got me thinking. It got me thinking of my actions, my deeds, my dreams..

My dreams where drifting like seas weeds in a turquoise realm where the chances of it drifting ashore where one in a million, my thoughts where wavering .. were my actions justifying my senseless drift was my only qualm..

I knew what  I needed, I needed to make Kasi’s  road-trip, I needed that karma filled renaissance, that exuberant  hit of weed on my senses, I had to find my Himalaya, my place of peace…before the burning flames dwindled into nothing but fumes..

In life, we live once, we love once..we make a lot of decisions, some foolish, some wise, but  whatever decisions we make  or we have made, it has made us who we are, and what we intend to do will definitely take us to our Himalaya, our place of calm, our place of tranquility, our place of peace...

Blinding Light

There is a ray of darkness in every act, an act of defiance in every yes… What keeps the world going then is not the yes, but it’s the sacrifice of that defiance and acceptance of that darkness.

Every blinding light that shines does not radiate brilliance, the evident truth; every selfless act has a self-motivated selfishness associated with it. What matters or what becomes more evident is how it becomes showcased and how society blindly accepts it without any thoughts or analysis.

The victims of this so-called flamboyantly portrayed “truth” are lost… lost in the morality of their choices, the effectiveness of their decisions and the search for truth. They quietly accept the fact that nothing can change the colorfully construed lies and nothing that they will ever do can make people believe in the true light.

Defiance pays a price, a price not many are ready to pay. Acceptance has its rewards , even crushing morality does. What we choose doesn’t define us but rather defies who we are, who we were and what we have become… soulless preachers of truth.

Being Indian

It’s surprising how trailers of shows can actually give you a moment of epiphany and how it can make you realize that the ground you stand on is really shaky.

While browsing through my limited network of local channels my attention caught the trailer of a talk show, where the discussion was focused on whether Malayalam is important in the school curriculum or not. The main guest on the show made a remark which actually caught my fancy, it was something like this “a student can complete his matriculation and intermediate exams without learning a single word of Malayalam if he is studying in an English medium school…”. What also interested me was how people on the show were substantiating the fact that how less or more important they felt to learn their mother tongue.

Well it was not the debate that caught my rapt attention rather the whole point of a language not being important. Our country has around 28 states where each state has its own language, and what’s remarkable is what’s actually holding India together. It’s definitely not religion, even though we are secular , India is home to more than 8 different religions, it’s not language, cause we are known for being a country of languages, and it’s also definitely not a common culture. So what holds India together and what is that one thing that is keeping India alive and bound for more than 60 plus years at a time where communal disharmony and religious fanaticism are at its peak.

This thought also sheds light on a very important fact as to why development has eluded India for so long. Being a multi-cultural and multi-faceted country has its own set of drawbacks. For example a country like France, even though secular  is united by a common language which makes it easier in many aspects, one being development in terms of employment and ensuring equal rights to all and also unification of rural and urban sectors. In a country like India, the lack of a common language can be considered as one of the main reasons of unemployment or differential development. For example, a state like Gujarat, requires skilled work force but Gujarat as such doesn't produce the same, and Uttar Pradesh’s labor force is the answer or savior to Gujarat’s problem, but they avoid going to Gujarat because communication poses a huge problem. This would not have been the case if there was a common language. Even though this a very small scenario but this can be applicable in many other aspects of development.

But like mentioned earlier there is a common thread that is holding us together, that even barriers like religion and language cannot break.  It’s something beyond being a Tamilian or a Gujarati, I guess ironically it’s about being an Indian.

The multi-cultural diversity and secularism engraved in the constitution is the common thread that’s holding us together, beyond this each Indian is different. This is our greatest and also our weakest link and building upon this and making sure that our diversities and national ethnicity doesn’t come in the way of petty differences like religion and language is the job of every Indian. In terms of development what is required is an universal approach, which is free from the grip of nepotism and so called political bureaucracy. If we have been doing well so far without the interference of our lingual or religious differences, the chances of a developed India sans political interference are bright. Development cannot and will not elude India anymore.

Incompleteness

Walking by the withered tree, a feeling of helplessness escapes ..a misty puff of breath through the serenely silent night..

Walking by, eyes can’t escape the withered tree so longing for life..

The transversal bark reminds the onlooker of the million stories yet untold but longing to cast..

A deep sense of incompleteness is what fills the serene night…something filled by the melancholy untold tales of the poor wilted life

When gazing longingly into the wilted branches, it only seems as if burdens have weighed heavy on the withered tree without casting a loving glance..

Not a drop of water to quench the parched roots, the withered branches looks away, it would have cried, the withered tree, if words could have its way..

As the last leaf has its way, the onlooker glances once again… if the withered tree could have its way , I am sure it would have wished for another day..

Success

Success is relative term. To be relative means, it’s subject to change, circumstances and also influence of factors.

It is an absorbent term, a mirror which reflects our true personalities and reveals who we are at the core of our hearts.

For me, success is not defined by the money that we make at the end of the day but the amount of smiles that we have been able to generate because of our deeds.

In our lifetime, the definition of success changes, time and again and at some point it becomes constant, and then changes again for the greater good or for the lesser evil, both which are the results of our choices.

In our youth, success is the amount of medals we win at an event and the number of praises that we get from our friends, at then before we enter the corporate world, success is or rather becomes a high package with the major perks and allowances.

But as you step in, and go beyond, what we really want at the end of the day is peace, a calm , sound and a night’s sleep and not the money that keeps filling into our bank accounts at the end of the day, it becomes more than that.

If through your deeds and through your actions you can sleep in peace at night, and bring a smile on a stranger’s face and say with pride and content that I am living the life that I dreamt of , it’s at that stage that success becomes constant.

It then changes only when, we step into a new world of marital bliss, but again solely depends upon our choices and the commitments we make.

Success does not make us, success has always been and will be created by us.

Quarter Life Crisis?

Ever thought you would feel as if the whole world is up against you and you feel so alone that you have no one but yourself to console?

Ever thought you would feel that your just breathing 

because God has no plans to take your life anytime soon?

Well then you are going through quarter-life crisis, a phase of utter confusion, anxiety, fear of failure and acceptance by family, friends, conflicts with your inner most self, where you see battles wage between your dreams and reality…

We all go through a trough in life, a point where we feel the sun shines not for us but for rest of the world that the rain lashes away not to lighten our joys but to remind our soul of how depressed we are…

The more depressed we get, the more we fail to understand the realities of life, we close ourselves to love, joy, any kind of true and blessed emotion portrayed by friends and family. The fear of losing someone near and dear increases and the normal joy you would feel being with family ceases to exist.

You end up sitting for hours, looking ahead into point blank darkness and end up seeing your soul dying into oblivion. What becomes of you, what is left of you is nothing but just mass, a human form devoid of emotions and pain.

But is it even remotely possible not to feel any kind of emotions, if that is the case, then tears should not roll, your soul shouldn’t seek for comfort or long for love…

Spiritual bliss is a way out. It is longed by one and all at a certain point in time. A sense of gratitude is another way that helps to overcome this state, a change in place and change in our vicinity is what the soul yearns for. The medicine is known but the application unknown and unsought for…